Friday, February 25, 2005

Filiae Melioris Aevi

i'm eating animal biscuits now. (lee laoshi who just passed by said pointedly that its unhealthy)which in anycase remind me so much of my uniformed days. how cute. i have no idea why i can't survive a few days of waking up at6. i mean during the prelim days i used to wake up at 4 just to mug. what happened? i think i lost the almost superhuman abilities that most students have to subsist on minimal sleep. so now on my last day of work and last day of the week, i'm stuck with eye bags and feeling all so dreary and stoned. blah. and by the way, i'm already finished for the day. had a sec 1 class in the morning and they were absolutely adorable. i hope they're happy with the sweets i got them. i suppose i'm lucky to be doing relief teaching in rg cuz the girls are really well behaved as compared to say some neighbourhood school [generalisations aside]. the worse they can get is to try and weasle their way out of work[sec 3s] and watch their video tape of some serial with long ze xiu ming inside whom i personally think is rather cute too, which explains why the girls were screaming when he took off his shirt. the standard of work now is so much higher as compared to when i was in rgs. when there's mcq, there are 2 parts: the answer, and the reason. to make sure you fully understand what you're doing and not like toss a coin or eraser to make your choice.
i wish i didn't have to go so soon. despite getting stressed each nite over what to wear to work the next day and freaking out when i'm stumped by some question[why are polymers in single structures? i didn't learn it during my time man] i will miss sitting in my corner just next to the pantry, yakking away on the laptop that i've laid claim on the past few days. i'll miss the saying hi to teachers i know and just picking up scraps of conversation from all over the office. i'll miss the students.
i know i'm probably making a big deal out of nothing but yes i'll miss this relief teaching job.
**

everyone's been pretty wound up over the results and i admit at times i do get stabs of anxiety. like a punch in my stomach which takes all the air out of me. i can accept whatever results i get. i'm the pro at that. its just the problem of having to face everyone.. the teachers whom i'll probably have to explain to that i was havin tonsilitis during the As. and after awhile, its gonna just come out all lame and flat. my rather useless shield.then there's the friends i have to deal with.by all means do hug.. but there's a sense of awkwardness.. trying to be tactful and not knowing what to do. right. snap out of it. i'm sounding all soppy and wet.

She, who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry

wen at 9:26 AM

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