Tuesday, March 15, 2005

let's get it started

started work yesterday at my new workplace.. its the building where jack's place is.. so if anyone pops by, visit me during lunch time~

opened letters;discovered my boss' cute surname:greedy;realised that he's a rugby enthusiast while typing out his e mails and is probably gonna play in the singapore sevens with his very own club;then printed mail while wrestling with a ultra laggy outlook. it only works when my supervisor is around i swear;went off to the bank; had lunch n saw kids on school holiday and i felt a twang of sadness.. or was it envy.; where's the simple happiness? squabbling about inane things with pri school friends and siblings...

back to sorting out sales kits; wrestling with 2 huge packages attempting to stuff them into a DHL box...

i must say i'm quite enjoying myself there even though stress levels and work load are a whole lot more as compared to my previous hpb job. stress comes from the pressure to do things right and not screw up anything considering that they're a huge company. running errands are fun only because they're all in orchard road. haha. take the time to shop too. been learning alot as well.. like how to operate the electronic type writer, calling DHL and signing for parcels and documents. makes me feel somewhat important. ha.

i'm seriously impressed with my jetsetting boss.. flying across the world (he just flew in yesterday from goodness knows where and is off to hongkong tmr)he's got a chauffeur.. he flys SIA business/first class..he gets invited to big events. yadda yadda. i wanna be him!
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my enthusiasm for going overseas has died. i lost the ability to keep the flame going. maybe i never did truely have any passion for it. i was just caught up in the romanticism of it all and swept away by the common excitement and euphoria and that contagious glint of adventure in everyone's eyes. i'm truely happy where i am now. staying here will make things alot easier. i understand my parent's reluctance to let me go. i'm the only kid. me leaving will only mean that the house will be a mere empty shell. lately, i've been accosted with quotes like if you don't have the courage to lose sight of the shore then you will not have the chance to discover the ocean. [or something to that effect]and for a moment it just makes me feel cowardly. it contradicts my self proclaimed title of a risk taker. i'm such a homebody that i don't want to leave what i'm most familiar with. i attempy to justify my emotions but somewhat falling short.

sometimes i think i'm a hedonist. always thinkin about play. wanting to escape the heavy things in life. at times i have so many doubts about myself. i wonder where's my confidence and belief.sometimes i wish i could just follow through with my faith and hope and belief in the future. but that perfect orb of the future is tainted. tainted with reality and cynicism.

stars..
They're not afraid to burn
To lose themselves while turning into light

wen at 8:26 PM

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