i'll point you home.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

I say a little prayer...

I'm sitting here in semi-darknesson my newly acquired lounger, only my bedside lamps on. I could have just switched on the reading lamp behind me, instead of relying on the glow of my laptop screen to make sure that my fingers are hitting the right keys. I tried. I did. But the glare of the lamp just ruined the romantic atmosphere. All part of the belated process of decorating my room.. giving it the romantic resort feel, complete with the 4 poster bed,curtains, candles... There's something about the beach that gets me going. Guess that explains why I bought that huge print of the sea to put on my wall.I must be doing a good job of romanticising my room, because I'm falling in love with all everything is feeling right now. ( Must be the soppy songs on my ipod)
I'm the ultimate romantic.

And the ultimate sentimental sod.
I went through my boxes where I kept stuff accumulated over the years looking for old photos to pin up and I swore I almost choked up. I guess much of it was cuz of all the dust but there was this odd sensation just reading old notes and looking at familiar faces, familiar places. It was as if my ~~brain~~ heart was working on overdrive;trying to figure out the oddity of how far-away and yet familiar things were; bitter-sweet; notes I chose not to read; photos I took a long time to decide to put away or put up.

The last few days I took a little time off for myself, running my own errands and buying my own stuff around town. No need to make small talk with anyone, no need for anything, just me melting into anonymity I like it this way, a little time out. No deadlines to meet, no need to pander to anyone else. Just me. Picked up books from the library and couldn't help but feel excited. I stopped going to the library for too long and have forgotten how it felt, back in those jc days to snuggle somewhere with a good book.

I had originally intended to lapse into angsty emo mode but I can't, not with ray charles in the background singing " you are so beautiful to me". Instead of going on about how I've come to realize how this world really works, maybe I'll just go on about how this world should work: love everywhere. Maybe I should have joined the bohemian revolution for truth, beauty and love. Thats how life should really be shouldn't it?

living with childish glee and wild abandon.
I'll trust and trust again.

"some people see only what they want to see and if you ask me, it makes the whole world a crossword puzzle without any clues."
gotta make sense of all that blank spaces around me.