Monday, January 01, 2007

you had me at hello.



happy new year folks!

There was this one girl at chijmes, clearly gone from all her boozing, hardly walking straight, much less dancing without tripping. She just broke up with her boyfriend, and as she hugged wing, she said that she was really happy that she was rid of him and yet when she had her arm around my neck, she told me a different thing.

" i still love him alot."

What could I say but, "new year, new start. you'll find someone better."
It wasn't that I approved of her getting herself pissed drunk and dancing all over the place but I couldn't help but feel for her. I don't know where her friends were, save for this nice nepalese dude who was taking care of her
It seemed like something out of those soppy movies, the sultry sounds of the cuban band muted for a bit, while something clicked within,
For every happy moment out there, there's someone with a less than perfect one.

I remember telling myself the same thing last year. "new year, new start" everything a clean slate. I was so goddamn confident.
And then life put me right back into my place.
love,friends,family, life.
There was this one time when I wondered if it would ever end. Bright sparks never seemed to last.

I've had enough of emo. Its time for happy.
But.. there's always a but ain't there. I'm afraid. honestly I am.
For all the times that I tell myself stuff like" babe, you've only one life, live it.", I'm afraid that I'll screw up.again. Sometimes I think I try to protect myself and then wrap myself up in multiple layers.
I'm wary, of embracing life. I want to. But I feel vulnerable.

Happy 2007.
Its still one life. my life.
// Hit me hard enough to wake me
And lead me wild to your dark roads

Headlights... before me
So beautiful, so clear
Reach out... and take it
Cos I'm so tired of all ths fear

wen at 2:15 PM

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